Pumpkin Karver

Pumpkin Karver (2006)

Dir: Robert Mann

Writ: Robert Mann, Sheldon Silverstein

Basically, a group of obnoxious teenagers are partying out in isolation, one of whom had a scarring run-in with murder a year ago. Now, things seem to be coming back to haunt him, as well as a creepy old guy who tries to entice him into 'carving' as a lifestyle choice. The best thing about this film is the comedic amount of carving, only some of which involves people. Mostly, it is full of pumpkin carving, and set in a town called Carver. We only find out two things about the main character's past: his dad disappeared, but before doing so, took him to pumpkin carving competitions. The through-line seems to be that he has it in his blood to become a career carver, just like his mysterious dad and this scary old man.

I would have been happy with that. In fact I would have been very happy to watch a film about Jonathon answering the call to hone his pumpkin carving skills until it consumed his life. As it is, the teenagers are unconvincing and typical, the 'monster' is a non-event, and the plot takes so many twists that it only sometimes hits upon potential goldmines (see earlier carving-only movie possibility), but then veers away from them. There are a few startling moments. Overall, derivative and forgettable but somehow too bizarre to ignore.

Please do a remake which does away with:

The other kids.

The party.

The catalyst event at the beginning.

The pumpkin-head suit.

The love interest.

These are all corny and pointless.

And just leave the old guy, Jonathon, lots of pumpkins, and a career in carving. Make it serial killer carving if you want.